Six little words

Posted on January 14, 2013 by

MP900439414The statement “less is more” is true, especially when it relates to your memoir.

Some of my smart and clever girlfriends were talking about the Six Word Memoir website recently over lunch. They were reciting some of their favorites and attempting to create their own.

As daunting as it sounds to write a complete memoir, it’s not a cakewalk to write one in six words. The closest I’ve came is: “at home PR chick loves work” or “housekeeping reject craves neat as pin” how about “transplanted Okie loves Missouri people, places.”

It’s tough.

Try wrapping up your entire life or just your present situation into six words. You may have thought the 140 character Twitter limit was tough. This can be mind-boggling.

Created by SMITH Magazine self-described as a home for storytelling; a blurb on their web page reads “We believe everyone has a story, and everyone should have a place to tell it.” Not only can you create an account on the memoir page and record your own six words but you can become entranced reading the brief descriptions of life, love and work left by others.

If six words seem too short, maybe you should try a personalized list of 20 suggested books based upon favorite books you enter into the “favorite book” box. Type in the title of your favorite read; hit “enter” and the website www.whatshouldireadnext.com shares with you a list of 20 books similar to your recent favorite.

I discovered several authors and titles I had never heard of before. On a whim I entered the names of a couple of books I absolutely detest and was supplied with a few of the same titles associated with books I loved. There may need to be a little cross-referencing before I had over any money on their recommendations.

There may be no “I” in team but “memoir,” book “list” and “personalized website experience” are full of them. So too does the title “Librarian. It’s a little “iffy” how two of my favorite librarians, my mother and Neosho legend and our neighbor Mrs. Peggy Payne, might few this web offering. I’m confident both ladies’ abilities to chat with an expectant reader and quickly offer up a short list of beautifully matched literary options far exceeds that of a computer program.

Bet they could each rattle off a couple of great memoir titles as well.

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Oh label where art thou?

Posted on December 13, 2012 by

TeaI recently wrote about my “secret” life as a messy person. I was surprised at how that post brought folks out of the woodwork. For all of you who whispered to me in church, or stopped me at the grocery store; gave me a wink and thumbs up while in line at the bank…your secret is safe with me. I’m not about to “out” any of you who share in my dysfunction.

Instead, today I’m writing as a beacon of hope. There is chance that those items we have previously thought lost will indeed be found, for in fact that has been my experience this week. Part of my messy behavior involves quick dashes throughout the house with a plastic shopping bag, doing a quick shove and conceal maneuver before any of the Marble men hit the door. I have often thought to myself “this is a bad idea” as I put a potential important book or favorite pen in a bag for retrieval later. I knew it was only a matter of time before I threw away a “good” bag and get a truly trashy one on accident.

Last month I was sure I had thrown away my business card case. I could remember changing purses at the dining room table – doesn’t everyone? The night before Big Al was to return from a long business trip I dashed around the house grabbing my stuff and that’s the last time I had seen the case. I had even purchased a replacement, knowing that was a sure-fire way of retrieving the old. Nothing happened. It wasn’t until this past weekend that I discovered my “missing” case and of all the big surprises it was in the business card pocket of my briefcase.

There was the true problem. My brain, so unaccustomed to have items placed in their proper home, simply could not bring into agreement those two polar opposite concepts: item put where it belongs. I simply erased that from my memory. This got me to thinking about some of my other organizational misfires.

I have a label making gadget. I love to label almost everything. Our coffee is separated into two clear containers. A good “labeler” would label one Caffeinated and one Decaffeinated. Not me. I insist on everyone knowing that the jar shoved in the back barely used is obviously the decaffeinated option because who really needs that anyway. I further point out the only time we use it is when my parents come to dinner; we serve coffee with dessert and they insist on decaf.

I label things that are obvious. The clear box with the wrapped loaf of bread; it’s labeled “Bread.” The coffee filters that apparently if you look through Pinterest long enough can be used to make an amazing light fixture, are labeled Coffee Filters. Possibly my lack of ability to put things in their obvious place is being compensated for by my labeling those items that are already there. I’m looking forward to the next round of “me too!” as we run into each other this week. Hopefully by that time I’ve labeled the coffee.

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She’s so trashy!

Posted on December 7, 2012 by

I have this ludicrous idea that I have somehow fooled my family into thinking that I am “with it” and organized. My not-too-well hidden secret is that I am a “messy.” There, I’ve written it. The secret is out.

As I mosey through the house I leave puddles of messiness notMP910220868 unlike Pigpen from the Snoopy comic strip. My messes are usually newspapers I’m reading, pages I’ve torn from magazine and thank you cards I’m in the process of completing.

Occasionally there will be a tube of lipstick, my business card holder, my eyeglasses case.

My messiness is worse whenever Big Al is away on business. It’s as if I’ve convinced myself I have a few days of chaotic freedom. Unfortunately there is always an afternoon or evening of reckoning, when I dash through the house trying to clear away my piles.

A coin always has two sides and the good and bad of my personality dictates that as much as I naturally lean toward creating haphazard groupings of papers and personal items, I get a deep satisfaction from throwing things away. Often my speed cleaning efforts involve strategically placed plastic grocery bags anchored around one arm. If I have many messes there might be two bags; a bag of things to put away later and a bag of trash to throw away.

Often it’s a good system. I throw the bag of junk away before I go to bed and as I head upstairs I put the other stuff in its appropriate spots. That’s most of the time. There have been instances where I throw away the “put away” bag and keep the trash bag. I’ll find it hanging on one of the knobs of my dresser and think “Why am I saving a bag of trash?” I’ll quickly toss it in the garbage and never give a thought to the missing bag of good stuff until days later. Then that bag of items haunts my subconscious like a half-remembered dream.

I’m currently hunting just such an elusive collection. I can clearly remember thinking “This is not a good idea!” as I hurriedly cleared the dining room table into some container. Notice how I can’t describe the container. I knew then that it was a bad idea but I was too tired to care. I think I remember even carrying the bundle to bed with me and that’s where the trail ends.

Goodbye business card case. Goodbye cool orange-colored reporter’s notebook with awesome notes for future blog posts. Goodbye receipts for items now guaranteed I’ll have to return soon.

Hope springs eternal and I’m hopeful my bag of stuff will be found, just like my favorite Starbucks travel mug I was certain I had tossed but recently found under my car’s passenger seat a full three months after it went missing. Of course it was right next to my car’s trash bin.

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Wait a second…where was I?

Posted on December 5, 2012 by

I loved the psychology research paper that was recently published entitled “Walking through doorways causes forgetting: Situation models and experienced space.” The paper explains why when we got from one room to another we often forget what we were attempting to do. The research is seven pages long and very scholarly in tone and all of us whether we’ve read it or not can chime in with a collective “hello, duh!”

I’ve been doing that for years.

What I’m now interested in is a research paper that explains why at age 47 I’ve began naming all three children in order of birth whenever I attempt to name only one. For example, I’m looking at Dexter, the youngest, pointing at him even, but I will still address him as “Jessica-Logan-Dexter” as if his first name was actually a conglomeration of his and his siblings.

My grandmother did the same thing. She could point to one of us grandkids, start naming her own children, then head straight into the “grands” in birth order. I would laugh and laugh. Either there is some scientific explanation for this or God indeed has a sense of humor and whatever we mock our elders for in our carefree teenager years, we’re doomed to repeat as we, ourselves age.

I have a girlfriend who has a theory about closets and clothes. It is her much esteemed hypothesis that the wooden walls, floor and door in her clothes closet actually serves as a dehumidifier. That in fact the mere action of its dehumidification is so strong that it extracts any moisture from her clothes and leaves them slightly smaller each time she hangs them up.

Two points can be gathered from this theory. First, she is maybe a size two or four in clothing so I don’t really feel too bad if her clothes shrink a little. Secondly, I think she might be a “closet” messy and by not hanging her clothes up she somehow avoids any perceived shrinkage.

My personal favorite and latest theory is that hearing is a learned trait based upon our likes and dislikes. Fez has this annoying little whine he does when he wants out but knows that the last 12 times he “asked” to go out over the past hour might be just this side of pushing it too far. His whine is breathy and high pitched. It drives me up the wall. I hate the whine more than I dislike stopping whatever I’m doing to let him out. The twins on the other hand have developed the art of selective hearing and this sound no longer even registers. It could be a tonal thing, but that wouldn’t account for their inability to hear the dryer or dishwasher shutting off.

Oh wait…I just remembered. They would have had to walk through a couple of doorways to get to the dog or appliances. They must have simply forgot.

 

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Feed Me!

Posted on December 5, 2012 by

Whenever I run into someone I haven’t seen in some time, the conversation turns to the twin’s. Recently an old friend asked about them and was shocked that they each stand six foot two and weigh in the 185 pound range. I laughed and explained that last night they were hungry. They were Hungry, with a capital “H”. I cooked four pounds of chicken breasts.

Originally I asked for six individual chicken parts, but Paige, at Family Market, knowing full well how much food I usually buy, stopped before wrapping it up and pointed out the scrawny amount of protein I was purchasing. “Double it,” was all I could reply, rolling my eyes.

Feeding teenage boys is a very good activity when you need to boost your self-esteem. They are never ambiguous about food. I hear more “I love you mom” comments at dinner then at any other time. And, I foolishly thought that once football season ended their constantly growling bellies might grow silent.

I often compare the twins to Fez the wonder Beagle. They’ve grown up together and many times I felt like I had three boys, followed by three teenagers is the house. Fez has a great personality and throughout his young lifetime has retained a couple of curious eating patterns.

First, he will wait at the back door and bark incessantly until fed. He is very punctual. Breakfast is at 5am, with dinner served at 5pm. Regardless of the weather or the hour, the minute you step outside to feed him, he runs to the deck or the edge of the patio and strikes this pose of hyper-vigilance. It’s as if he feels he has to work for his food, guarding our backyard from cats and squirrels. Secondly, he will not eat if you’re watching him. He prefers to dine outdoors and will stare at you impatiently until you back slowly inside the house before he begins his meal.

I joke often about the volume of food my kids, and dog, consume. The reality is they’ve never gone without a meal. Unfortunately too many kids in our community and throughout the country face hunger on a daily basis. I heard a bit of trivia the other day that there was a record one billion dollars per candidate spent this year on the presidential election. That’s a waste and a shame. I’m assuming many of you, like me, knew for some time who you would vote for in the election. Wouldn’t it have been wonderful to see a few of those campaign dollars go to programs that actually assist families at their most basic level. That’s a concept many of us would have voted to support.

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You’re Welcome!

Posted on October 31, 2012 by
The Waitress

The Waitress (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m a big baby about going to the doctor. I recently had to bribe myself into going.

One particular doctor is in Springfield, so I asked Big Al if we couldn’t stop by a certain restaurant after my appointment. He agreed. It’s one of his favorite stops; mine too both for the food as well as watching the behavior of a specific waitress.

Before that last statement settles in and reads as incredibly creepy, let me point out I’m obviously not the only one. She has an entire restaurant of fans. When we arrived, they were just unlocking the doors and there were a few of us waiting outside to get in. As each group stepped through the door we were greeted with a warm welcome from the manager and a pleasant “Sit anywhere you like.”

I noticed those ahead of us were hesitating, scanning the empty room with its ample seating searching for where they wished to dine. We did the same when it was our turn. We wanted to see where “she” was working.

Describing this woman physically is difficult. She’s probably in her late 50s or early 60s. She’s medium height and medium build. She wears glasses and not much, if any, makeup or jewelry. What stand out are her gracious manners. Specifically it’s the way she says “You’re welcome.”

I love to listen to her interact with customers. I’m positive I could hear the tone in people’s voices change as they interacted with her. They may have come in harried from their morning’s tasks hoping to grab a quick bite for lunch. Their voices sharp with the echoes of orders barked out over the past few hours but within minutes they were softer, kinder.

No matter how quick or quiet the “thank you” from diners was muttered, our waitress was quick to offer a warm and kind “you’re welcome” in return.

Every time we’re there I remark to Alan, “I love the way she says that.” It’s just part of our expected conversation during the meal. I’ve even tried to practice saying “you’re welcome” with the same level of sincerity but I just can’t quite pull it off. It’s as if this waitress has a special insight into the phrase, as though she coined it herself.

It occurred to me this week that I had never told her how much I appreciated her; how I loved feeling the appreciation returned when she said “you’re welcome.” So as Big Al went up front to pay, our waitress came over and began clearing the table. I stopped her, thanked her for being our waitress and said, “I have to tell you how much I enjoy eating here. You have the most delightful and warm personality.”

She looked up at me, slightly surprised and replied, “Cool!”

 

 

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Thumb-worthy

Posted on August 22, 2012 by

512

“Hey Lori!” I heard a girl yell across the parking lot.

I turned to see an old friend coming toward me. We hugged and talked excitedly back and forth. Within minutes she laughed and pointed to my hand. “I see you’re still using the same notebook.”

I’m a bit of a gadget geek. I love my iPods and now my computer tablet. I’ve had many versions of PDAs and electronic organizers. Regardless of how organized and synced across various platforms I am, I always write my most important notes for the day on my left thumb.

My “thumb drive,” has served me well for probably 30 years. You know you count when you make it to the thumb (or at the very least you’re a news reporter expecting a call-back). A really hectic day may find two or three notes written across my thumb. Numerous hand-washing stops ensure a clean slate for the ever revolving list of urgent “to dos.”

I’ve learned some thumb drive tips. First, be careful in your ink selections. Permanent markers, especially anything labeled Sharpie, is a bad choice for writing on your thumb. You won’t risk inadvertently smudging or washing off the note, but you will eventually run out of clean skin space when you keep writing on top of previous notes.

Second, keep your notes brief. Use only the most necessary wording. Think short key words. The thumb is not the space to write a declarative statement or romantic poem. Think of your thumb as the ultimate old school Tweet.

Third, only write on your thumb what you’re comfortable with your family, friends and co-workers reading. Trust me. You write on your thumb and everyone feels welcome to lean around this way and that to read it.

Fourth, don’t write any guilt-trip tasks on your thumb. There is no condemnation in the world of thumb notes. Keep your angry personal missives in your planner of choice. You don’t need to be reminded of the project you’ve been dragging around for the last three months (especially when you’re speeding down the highway). Practice kind self-talk on your thumb.

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The marriage of technical and paper notes

Posted on July 1, 2012 by
Evernote for iOS icon

Evernote for iOS icon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m a techno-nerd. There’s no denying it. I love my iPhone. I’m deeply attached to my laptop. My Kindle accompanies me everywhere.

I was introduced earlier this year to the Evernote application. Evernote is a program that allows you to save just about anything; pictures, video files, notes, and even voice recordings to electronic notebooks. You can share your notebooks with individuals via emailed links. I quickly signed up for the paid subscription finding that I “maxed” out the free version’s information allotment size within days.

Having just described my crush on all things digital, there’s nothing that quite compares to knowing where to turn to in a notebook to find your doodle or scrawled phone number. There’s no waiting for the device to power up. There’s no need to slide through other notes, no removing gloves to tap a screen or cleaning a screen of a messy fingerprint only to find the information sought was just erased.

I’m a devoted pen and paper note-taker. I’m even picky about the paper. Give me a reporter’s notebook and I’m a happy girl.  Reporter’s notebooks are like skinny stenographer notebooks. They fit perfectly in your palm and flip open with a nice swish of confident expectancy. Just flinging open the front of one of my notebooks provides the feeling that this new page is going to be special. This page is “the one.” Every note is going to be brilliantly encapsulated and just brimming over with possibility.

My pens, if ballpoint, have to be cheap and Bic®; otherwise give me a nice hefty rollerball or a good feeling ultra-fine artists pen. The ink must always be black. The only sanctioned highlighter color is yellow. Any pencil usage must be from an approved mechanical pencil with the “clicker” button for lead advancement located near the point allowing for easy thumb access.

Paper and pen is king but electronic notes do have their advantage.

The ability to search for information stored in my electronic files is nice. At times I’m in too big of a hurry to search through my current stash of 11 reporter notebooks. Thankfully, I think I’ve found a solution.  From now on I’m going with what works best; good quality paper and great pens. I’m going to doodle, scribble and sketch to my heart’s delight. When I’ve completed my “old school” approach I’m going to grab up my iPhone, snap a picture of the page and file in Evernote.

Problem solved. Old school say hello to your digital friend.

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My True LinkedIn Skills

Posted on June 19, 2012 by

Do you remember when LinkedIn, self-described as “the world’s largest professional network on the Internet” was hacked? A Russian techno-thug managed to obtain 6.5 million of the over 161 million users’ passwords and uploaded them to a website.

For a couple of days news groups that cover social media and people who are active on LinkedIn were busy updating their information and encouraging their contacts to do the same. Of course I was right in the middle of it.

As I’ve written previously, after my email hacking experience last year, my password routine is pretty exhaustive. No two websites have the same login or the same password. Every piece of mumbo-jumbo login information is kept on a series of 3 x 5 cards, sorted alphabetically by site, date stamped and kept in a safe place. Regardless of my safeguards, I wasn’t taking any changes.

While logged into LinkedIn, I took the opportunity to update some of my information and to look around at the profiles posted by my connections. I noticed that many of my contacts have extensive “skills” listed. Apparently I’m connected to some seriously smart people because in many instances I’m not quite sure what their skills referenced but just knew they sounded much more “dynamic” than mine.

Let’s compare: Lori’s skills – customer service, writing, marketing, press release writing, media relations, copywriting (notice a theme?) My connections on the other hand list skills such as – change management, financial modeling, process improvement, supply chain management, continuous improvement – lots and lots of managing and improving.

All the skills comparison got me thinking what my list would look like if I was completely honest and transparent about what it is I do each day that is “skills-worthy”. My list would look more like this:

  • Strategic dishwasher loader – seriously this is a gift. Anyone that can load the dishes and cookware for a family of four without breaking something or having things rattle about for an hour during the wash cycle should claim it.
  • Caffeine Altitude Engineer – the fact that at least one day of each and every week for the past year I have consumed somewhere between 20-24 cups of coffee…and am able to sleep that same night is worthy of recognition.
  • Process Improvement/Makeup Assurance – much to the chagrin of my dear friend Lucy whose makeup and hair are always perfect, at least three-four days of each week I leave the house without a dab of makeup; choosing to put it on during my lunch break. I fully believe it is a process improvement not to hassle with mascara before noon and am fairly confident the movement is trending upward with my peers.

I’ll continue to post updates on LinkedIn. I’ll continue to process and improve my supply chain management, except in my house we refer to it as “putting up the groceries as soon as you get home from the store.”

Too bad someone doesn’t want to hack that chore!

 

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Allergic to Negativity

Posted on June 12, 2012 by

I’m developing a stronger and stronger aversion to negativity the older I become. I try to check my own negative reaction to all things “snarky” but find it sometime in short supply. I especially have little patience with my own occasional bad attitude.

Take this week – I have found so many reasons to be thankful and appreciative.

Rather than complain about the high cost of gas, I’m appreciating the opportunity to work and meet “remotely.” Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting via the phone and internet with one of my favorite clients. Many miles separate us but any time spent in discussion always lifts my mood and get me excited about the opportunities ahead.

Rather than complain about all the trash and drama floating around the internet, I spent a good deal of time watching the Venus transit via a live NASA broadcast from an observatory in Hawaii. Several amazingly bright scientists shared minute by minute observations with thousands of listeners around the world. I am “wowed” by how smart these scientists are and how passionately they feel about their field.

Rather than be overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information cascading down on my Twitter feed, I chose to focus on one area and was able to “sit in” on a fascinating hour-long live chat with one of my favorite authors. I learned so much, simply as a virtual fly on the wall.

Recently I’ve had lunch with some very clever people, argued the news of the day with a couple more, caught up with girlfriends and enjoyed a great book.

Negativity is fleeting, while appreciation is always good, even when it involves bumps in the road.

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