I’ve always thought that “ain’t scared” sounded goofy – but it’s the only thing that comes to mind when I consider this post…

Friends ask me if I’m scared about the upcoming deep brain stimulation (DBS) surgery.

I’m anxious – not scared. 

Anxious about what to expect post-surgery, and honestly a little anxious about what I’ll miss at work and within my community groups and circle of friends while recuperating.

I’m “scared” of what might happen if I don’treceive treatment, scared of falling more often and harder, scared of an increasing reliance on prescription medications, scared of an ever-decreasing sense of self-confidence due to how I move – or rather “clomp” – when I walk.

Scared is worrying about dropping a grandbaby. Scared is not volunteering to read scripture at church because I’m worried I’ll trip on the steps coming down from the podium. Scared is thinking of all the things I’ll potentially miss or not try if I don’t have the surgery.

I will not allow DBS to make the scared list.